Snack Tyme

I’d like to discuss some snacks.

Last night I went to Shaw’s with John Benton to cash in some coins. We discovered a loophole in the Coinstar system. Usually it takes 9% of your money just for using it. I guess you could call it a convenience charge. But if you select the Gift Card option, it lets you keep all of the money. So I got myself a Gift Card to Amazon. Not a bad deal. And now you know. See, this blog is already paying off.

We had planned to watch the awful film, Master of Disguise, starring Dana Carvey. John and I intentionally watch awful movies. I assure you there will be more on this at a later date. What’s important for the current moment is that you understand our tradition of purchasing unhealthy snacks for the purpose of easing the pain of watching these films. That is the other reason we went to Shaw’s.

I purchased Cotton Candy and York Peppermint Pieces. These I will discuss in greater detail.

The Cotton Candy is actually called Olde Tyme Kotton Kandy. As you can see in the picture below, there is a sad looking clown holding a balloon. What were they thinking? I have some ideas.

Everything is misspelled. They clearly went out of their way to do this. Perhaps it is meant to appeal to children who may view it as silly and fun. On another level, seeing so many misspelled words may force the educated observer to do a double take. Your brain works tirelessly to make sense of these errors. As more time passes, the chance of you purchasing this item must increase. It’s just like those annoying commercials. WAIT A MINUTE! Kars for Kids. You’ve heard that awful ad on the radio. They make it a point to tell you that Cars is spelled with a K. I must be on to something. Whatever the case, I bought the cotton candy. It worked.

But what about the clown? Everyone hates clowns. Who likes clowns? No one likes clowns. Why put an evil, awful, sad clown on your product? On the surface we can see that it follows the playful nature of cotton candy, which is often consumed at carnivals and circuses, classic clown hideouts. If we go a little deeper, we start to understand what’s really going on here. Clowns are simultaneously fun and terrifying. They promise happiness, but we know that they hide a terrible secret behind the makeup and smiles. Such a complex emotional response surely does a number on our minds. This product affects you on all of these levels. There is no escape from Olde Tyme Kotton Kandy!

On a lighter note, I also bought these York Peppermint Pieces. It promises to deliver on the refreshing Peppermint Patty experience, and I am pleased to say that it does satisfy. Sure, it’s not the same, but are Reese’s Pieces the same as Peanut Butter Cups? They’re different, but close cousins. If you like hard shelled candy and peppermint, I encourage you to try these.

That is all for now. I will continue to write.

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Posted on March 26, 2010, in Everything Else, Nonsense and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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