There are thousands upon thousands of offensive scenes throughout movie history. For example, the last part of Requiem for a Dream, and basically all of Wanted. But there is only one scene that offended me to the point of inconsolable disgust. It fills me with anguish.
First, let me show you an example of a great scene from the classic movie, The Return of the Jedi.
Note the “Chub Chub” song in the background. Those Ewoks were rocking it out old school! And Anakin Skywalker finally has peace among his old friends, Obi-wan and Yoda. All is as it should be. A fine conclusion to an incredible trilogy.
Now take a deep breath. We’re about to take a plunge into the heart of darkness. Here is the worst scene in movie history.
What the hell was that!?!
Hayden Christensen is the worst thing to happen to the Star Wars prequels, second only to George Lucas. I’m sorry if there is anyone out there who actually likes what this guy has done to Star Wars, but to me and almost everyone I know he is the anti-Christ of the Star Wars universe. A whiny bad actor with no likeable qualities.
SO, when Mr. Lucas decided to infuse this toxic Hayden Christensen into the purity that is Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi he unleashed his greatest demon. It’s a demon that Lucas would call, creative license, but I like to call it arrogance. The last slap in the face to anyone who clung to the hope that Lucas respected the universe he created.
And get this, Anakin is still young! The reason he is young and the other two Jedi are old is that he turned to the dark side in his youth, and when he turned back to the light side it was like starting over from that point. Are you kidding me??? So he gets to be eternally young, while the Jedi who were always good must be eternally old. Sounds like the dumbest loophole ever. Oh, did I say sounds like? I meant it is.
But what really gets me about this “re-mastered” ( I like to call it de-valued) version is the change in the Ewok song. What? The Chub Chub song isn’t good enough anymore? You needed to throw out the Chub Chub? These Ewoks have no musical talent! Curse their cute short hairy arms! Bring in the professional orchestra to play over these savages!
I just picture John Williams with a tear in his eye.