The Cookie Monster: A Tale of Forsaken Identity

It has been about four years since the Cookie Monster sold his soul to the gods of political correctness.  With five little words, he lost himself forever.

COOKIES ARE A SOMETIMES FOOD.

They say that the change came as a response to the growing obesity epidemic among American children.  Sesame Street decided to feature more segments about healthy living, and it only made sense to address the Cookie Monster’s insatiable appetite for sweets.  Namely, cookies.  Seems harmless, right?

The Cookie monster is defined by his love for cookies.  Cookies are his religion.  They are his passion.  They are his purpose.  Every time he appears, he is either talking about cookies or eating cookies.  We know him as a monster.  A cookie monster.  A monster fueled by cookies.

He has a famous song.  Here it is.

C is for cookie.  It’s good enough for me.

C is for cookie. It’s good enough for me.

Cookies are good enough for Cookie Monster.  His love of cookies is directly tied to his sense of self-worth.  Cookies are good enough for him because his sole purpose in life is to eat and worship them.  The Cookie Monster couldn’t ever sell his soul for a cookie because his soul is already cookie.  Cookie Monster is cookie.  The two cannot be torn asunder.  So when he goes on television and claims that, “Cookies are a sometimes food”, we should be concerned.  Deeply concerned; for the Cookie Monster and for our children.

When the Cookie Monster claims that life is more than cookies, he is forsaking his own identity.  It is the Muppet equivalent of a Christian claiming that Jesus isn’t good enough.  He is lying to himself.  And that means he is also lying to the children.  He is telling them not to be true to themselves.  He is saying, “Forsake your personal convictions as not to offend anyone.”

When the Cookie Monster forsakes his cookies, he forsakes himself.  A cookie monster lives for cookies.  They are one.

So ask yourself, which is more important:  the health of the body, or the health of the soul?  The Cookie Monster has already made his choice.  And the world is a little darker because of it.

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Posted on December 1, 2010, in Nonsense, Popular Culture and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. This country is going down the tubes when Cookie Monster can’t be true to himself. A dark time in America for sure. Thank you for bringing this travesty to light Mr. Lavallee.

  2. I love this.

    agreed.

  3. “Cookie Monster as Veggie Monster would be like Oscar-the-Grouch as Oscar-the-Really-Tolerant-Person.” – Something a friend said to me once. One of my favorite quotes ever.

  4. Cookie :DDD<3

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