“Lost Cos” and the Other Incredible Cosby Related Movie Pitches That Showed Up On My Doorstep
I found an unmarked envelope at my front door. Here is what I found inside.
In the year 2018, Bill Cosby has been diagnosed with dementia, but not before he discovers the secrets of time travel. Using his substantial Jell-O fortune, he teams up with Shaq and Sinbad to build a fully functional time machine. Hilarity ensues when the time machine goes haywire and the trio encounter numerous famous historical figures. In a last ditch effort to get back to the present, Cosby makes a deal with a wizard (played by the late Bea Arthur) who promises to send them back under one condition: Cosby must stay behind to tell jokes. Sinbad and Shaq are saved, and Cosby is known throughout history as the funniest man to ever live. In the final scene it is revealed that Cosby imagined the whole thing.
It is the year 2929, and Bill Cosby is the greatest judge to ever live. After a high-profile case between humanity and the alien, Krog the Balmarkian, Cosby is uneasy. Krog was accused of turning people into chocolate pudding and selling them on the alien black market. The day after the verdict, Krog strikes back by wiping out all of humanity. Well, almost. He intentionally leaves Cosby alive to wander the galaxy alone. Hilarity ensues when Cosby teams up with a robot detective (played by Dana Carvey) and an intergalactic garbage woman (played by Lindsay Lohan). The trio must solve the mystery of the lost supernova while tracking down Krog and bringing him to swift Cosby justice. Will they succeed??? Yes.
Cos I Said So
It is the year 25,000 B.C. Bill Cosby is the leader of the largest human tribe on the planet. One day, he watches as a flaming object falls from the sky. Turn outs, that object is a spaceship time machine from the year 3873. On board is a talking dog named Bit (voiced by Gilbert Gottfried) and an alien named Lance (played by Shaq). Cosby, not yet able to speak, welcomes the duo with various comedic gestures. Hilarity ensues as the trio interacts with the rest of the tribe. Lance eventually teaches Cosby how to speak, and this is the beginning of language.
I guess I’ll just toss these out…