Gather round and I will tell you a tale of a far away place filled with beauty and defined by perfect freedom. It is a sacred country where lions and gorillas play peacefully with puppies and baby monkeys. A land flowing with milk and honey, where the old teach wisdom to the young and the young sing songs of innocence and promise. Yes, this is a frozen treat lover’s paradise. This is a sanctuary of unapologetic indulgence. My friends, this is Yogurtland.
The slogan of Yogurtland really captures its essence: You Rule. From the moment you walk in, you are in control of your experience. And, oh, how simple a concept this is. You pick a dish, you choose your flavors, and you choose your toppings. But you don’t just choose and surrender to some frozen yogurt jockey, you add everything in any amount or order your heart desires. Then, when it’s all over, they simply weigh your dish and charge you accordingly. But don’t fret about the cost, even with my gut-busting mountain of chilly goodness it still cost under five dollars.
Now let me tell you about the flavors. They have Red Velvet Cupcake Batter, Nutter Butter, Strawberry Cheesecake, Chocolate Milkshake, Double Cookies and Cream, Green Tea, Pistachio, Dragon Passion Tart, Dutch Chocolate and more! This is premium stuff, and even without the toppings would make Yogurtland a special place. But who are we kidding? On to the toppings.
For the health inclined they have fruits and stuff. Ok, ok they have a great selection of fruits and nuts and pretty much any healthy thing you could imagine to place on top of frozen yogurt. I sort of looked past those toppings, though. You’ll understand why in a second.
Crushed Oreo cookies, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, M&M’s, mini Nutter Butters, brownie chunks, cheesecake bits, Kit Kat pieces, sprinkles, crushed graham crackers, at least four kinds of sauces, chocolate chips, Gummi Bears, mini caramel cups and many many more. As I mentioned in the title, it’s an indecisive sweet lover’s paradise. Just get a little of everything. I did.
This is all well and good, and I hope I have peaked your interest, but unfortunately I have some sobering news for my fellow New Englanders. My experience took place in California, and the closest Yogurtland to us is in New Jersey. It’s a long way to travel for a treat. Then again, maybe it’s worth it. After all, we can’t let Bruce Springsteen and Snooki have their fill without taking some for ourselves.
And maybe, just maybe someone out there is looking to open a franchise here in my home state of Massachusetts. Perhaps it’s you. If that’s the case, let me assure you that I speak for my millions of hungry brothers and sisters here in New England when I say, “Make this California dream a Massachusetts reality!“
UPDATE 1/9/13: Yogurtland announced it is coming to Boston! Click here to learn more.