If I Had Edited Clint Eastwood’s Speech at the RNC
I know this is old news by now. The Democrats started their own convention this evening. But I can’t help but dwell on the speech that Clint Eastwood gave at the Republican National Convention. In it were moments of goodness and straight talking, but those moments were smothered by more moments of awkwardness. I’m a conservative guy, and I’m a big fan of Clint, so I want to pretend for a moment that I had the ability to edit his speech before he went out on stage. Perhaps we can get to the heart of things by shaving off the distracting bits.
Let’s start by watching the actual speech.
It’s a little painful to watch. Clint seems to stumble a bit and make some disrespectful jokes about the president. At times he seems a little lost. But once again you have to admit that there were parts worth keeping.
Now, here is the version of the speech that I would have approved.
EASTWOOD: Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you
very much. Save a little for Mitt.
I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, what’s a
movie tradesman doing out here? You know they are all left
wingers out there, left of Lenin. At least that is what people
think. That is not really the case. There are a lot of
conservative people, a lot of moderate people, Republicans,
Democrats, in Hollywood. It is just that the conservative
people by the nature of the word itself play closer to the vest.
They do not go around hot dogging it.
So — but they are there, believe me, they are there. I
just think, in fact, some of them around town, I saw John Voigt,
a lot of people around.
John’s here, an academy award winner. A terrific guy.
These people are all like-minded, like all of us.
So I — so I’ve got Mr. Obama sitting here. And
he’s — I
was going to ask him a couple of questions.
But — you know
about — I remember three and a half years ago, when Mr. Obama
won the election. And though I was not a big supporter, I was
watching that night when he was having that thing and they were
talking about hope and change and they were talking about, yes
we can, and it was dark outdoors, and it was nice, and people
were lighting candles.
They were saying, I just thought, this was great.
Everybody is trying, Oprah was crying.
I was even crying. And
then finally — and I
cried that hard since I found out that there
is [are] 23 million
people in this country.
Now that is something to cry for because that is a
national disgrace, and we haven’t done enough, obviously — this
administration hasn’t done enough to cure that.
they have is not strong enough, and I think possibly now it may
time for somebody else to come along and solve the problem.
So, Mr. President, how do you handle promises that you have
when you were running for election, and how do you handle them?
I mean, what do you say to people?
Do you just — you know
know — people were wondering — you don’t — handle that OK.
know even people in your own party were very disappointed when
didn’t close Gitmo. And I thought, well closing Gitmo — why
that, we spent so much money on it. But, I thought maybe as an
— what do you mean shut up?
OK, I thought maybe it was just because somebody had the
idea of trying terrorists in downtown New York City.
I’ve got to to hand it to you. I have to give credit where
credit is due. You did finally overrule that finally. And
now we are moving onward. I know you were against the war in
and that’s okay. But you thought the war in Afghanistan was OK.
know, I mean — you thought that was something worth doing. We
check with the Russians to see how did it — they did there for
But we did it, and it is something to be thought about, and
think that, when we get to maybe — I think you’ve mentioned
something about having a target date for bringing everybody
gave that target date, and I think Mr. Romney asked the only
question, you know, he says, “Why are you giving the date out
Why don’t you just bring them home tomorrow morning?”
And I thought — I thought, yeah — I am not going to shut
is my turn.
So anyway, we’re going to have — we’re going to have to
little chat about that. And then, I just wondered, all these
— I wondered about when the — what do you want me to tell
can’t tell him to do that. I can’t tell him to do that to
You’re crazy, you’re absolutely crazy. You’re getting as
Of course we all now Biden is the intellect of the
Kind of a grin with a body behind it.
But I just think that there is so much to be done, and I
that Mr. Romney and Mr. Ryan are two guys that can come along.
never thought it was a good idea for attorneys to be president,
I think attorneys are so busy — you know they’re
always taught to argue everything, always weigh everything,
weigh both sides.
EASTWOOD: They are always devil’s advocating this and
bifurcating this and bifurcating that. You know all that stuff.
But, I think it is maybe time — what do you think — for maybe
a businessman. How about that?
A stellar businessman.
Quote, unquote, “a stellar
And I think it’s that time. And I think if you just step
and Mr. Romney can kind of take over. You can maybe still
use a plane.
Though maybe a smaller one. Not that big gas guzzler you
are going around to colleges and talking about student loans and
stuff like that.
You are an — an ecological man. Why would you want to
drive that around?
OK, well anyway. All right, I’m sorry. I can’t do that to
I would just like to say something, ladies and gentlemen.
Something that I think is very important. It is that, you, we
— we own this country.
We — we own it. It is not you owning it, and not
politicians owning it. Politicians are employees of ours.
And — so — they are just going to come around and beg
for votes every few years. It is the same old deal. But I just
think it is important that you realize , that you’re the best in
the world. Whether you are a Democrat or Republican or whether
you’re libertarian or whatever, you are the best. And we should
not ever forget that. And when somebody does not do the job, we
got to let them go.
Okay, just remember that. And I’m speaking out for
everybody out there. It doesn’t hurt, we don’t have to be
(AUDIENCE MEMBER): (inaudible)
I do not say that word anymore. Well, maybe one last time.
We don’t have to be — what I’m saying, we do not have to
be metal (ph) masochists and vote for somebody that we don’t
really even want in office just because they seem to be nice
guys or maybe not so nice guys, if you look at some of the
recent ads going out there, I don’t know.
But OK. You want to make my day?
All right. I started, you finish it. Go ahead.
AUDIENCE: Make my day!
EASTWOOD: Thank you. Thank you very much.
See, there was a good speech in there.