Our Evil Santa
Ornaments are one of the many bits of wonderful that make this Christmas season special. Many of us share in the tradition of hanging these little gems on our trees every year. Perhaps, like me, you made a few ornaments as a child, and even though they may not be the most attractive pieces of art, they’re full of heart and memory. Every year they have to go up, or it simply wouldn’t be your Christmas tree. I want to share with you another kind of Christmas decoration that must hang on my tree. It wasn’t made by any hands I know, and it wasn’t a gift from someone special. Store bought and unattractive, Evil Santa is a Christmas tradition in the Lavallee household.
He comes from New York City in the year 1973. My parents bought him while on their honeymoon. Though we can’t know for sure, witness accounts seem to point to an origin of Macy’s Department Store. I believe he was actually purchased from a mysterious street merchant, but that’s conjecture. Wherever the true origin, my parents took him home and hung him on their first Christmas tree. It’s this meaningful origin that solidified Evil Santa’s position on the Lavallee tree, and it’s what granted him his decades long tenure. That being said, we all hate him.
Evil Santa goes up every year, but he goes in the same spot: at the back of the tree. He needs to be there, but no one wants to look at him. He creeps us out. Beyond the troubling gaze and an undeniable devil-may-care approach to grooming, Evil Santa is completely naked under that red suit. His makers decided to include an anatomically correct butt and exclude appropriate undergarments. It’s bizarre and highly suspect.
Despite all of these undesirable qualities, I have to admit that I do have a tiny bit of affection for the dirty old man. It has become family tradition to hang him on the back of the tree as we remark how much we dislike him. But really, I don’t think we hate Evil Santa. He’s ours after all. Just another one of the many bits of wonderful that make this Christmas season special.